I will respond to your concerns one by one, and I will write it down very slowly so that you'll understand, because it seems like you have an issue with that:
I have two listings, one comes with the full kitchen, and the other one comes with kitchen use, EXCEPT cooking. That is why I asked you what you needed it for. When you said you wanted to cook a full breakfast for all three of you, I went out of my way and approved you using the kitchen that belonged to other guests because they hadn't checked in yet. On top of that, you're lazy ass couldn't even clean up after yourself, leaving the dishes on the counter, even knowing that I needed to tidy up for the next guest. The actual problem is that you didn't read the entire listing's description "kitchen MIGHT be shared...inquire, if it makes a difference". Later, in the description I have this: "Even if the "private apartment area" is not shared, you would still have access to the rest of the entire property (kitchen too, but not for cooking) including home theater, hot tub, garage, laundry, etc." Notice the part where it says my second kitchen could be used for storing food, getting ice, eating, etc. - everything but cooking. And nowhere is it written "complete with pots and pans, dishwasher, etc.", you're just consistently making stuff up, aren't you? So please don't complain when you're the one who didn't comprehend what was written. Focus...read...understand...learn.
As for moving your car "5 inches", you're full of it!!! You know damn well I asked you to move it 5 FEET, because you had 10 feet of space behind the car and not enough room in front where the doors to the house and outside are. As for the garage remote, you don't need that to get out, so why are you making a big deal about that. I asked for it so I can have it ready for my next guests. Unless, that is, you had another reason you wanted to take it to bed with you (ewww!)
Lastly, don't tell me you're going to check-out at 9:30, if you're not going to leave until noon. My next guests asked for an early check-in and I was trying to accommodate them, as I did YOU for your check-in. And you were never "forced out", you dumb hippo-head, you got to check-out when you wanted. I then had to tell my other guests that you changed your mind.